Writing poems is a great procrastination strategy, no matter what continent you're on!

I am feeling particularly poetic at the moment (maybe because I'd rather write poetry than rewrite my entire grant proposal), so here are some impromptu poems for your reading pleasure. They have sadly not been written on Fatburger napkins, but I think you'll be able to manage.

Ode to Fene

I used to think that there was only such a thing as fruit-flavored Starburst, not Starburst-flavored fruit.
That was until I met fene, the most magical fruit on the planet.
Tasting fene for the first time was like experiencing Plato's allegory of the cave, but with my tongue.
The first magical thing about fene is that it tastes like Starburst.
It doesn't taste like any particular flavor of Starburst, but more like what the ultimate flavor of Starburst would taste like.
The second magical thing about fene is that it looks really cool on the outside.
It is bright green and bumpy and looks like aliens brought it from outer space.
The third magical thing about fene is that it looks really cool on the inside.
It is bright yellow and looks like some strange flowy sea creature.
The fourth magical thing about fene is that it is really giant.
It is fun to watch boda-boda guys with mass amounts of fene strapped to their bikes.
In conclusion, fene is the best thing ever to happen to the genre of fruit.
I am very perplexed as to why we don't eat fene in America.

Oops

Placing your iPod in your bra so you can continue listening to it while you jolt to the bathroom to have diarrhea may seem like a good idea, but it really isn't.
Why, you ask?
Because your iPod will slip out of your shirt, down between your legs, and into the diarrhea-filled toilet.
Then, without thinking, you will instantly reach into the toilet to retrieve your poor little iPod.
Then you will be left with a wet, defiled iPod and wet, defiled hands, and you will have nothing left to do except laugh really really hard at yourself.
Then you will be stuck in the middle of Uganda without an iPod, pondering how you will ever fall asleep at night because you can no longer listen to Enya and This American Life until you pass out.
At least this is my current predicament.
Oops.

Second Chance Haiku #1

Salvador is strange.
Find Second Chance on You Tube.
You will understand.

#2
Andre is evil.
So is Walter, he should die.
So what happens next?




Okay I really need to stop this poetry business, I actually have work to do.